Rants and Raves!

HI I’M KRISTEN AND I’M BACK because my classes are giving me no work to do lately. It’s funny how you complain about essays and exams and readings and art projects but when you finally don’t have anything to do and you and your roommate are just sitting and reading the unfortunate stories of others on fmylife.com, you realize how unexciting life really can be.

Today, I had a philosophical moment and I posted on the World Wide Web that my life is unexciting. FML

lol leave it to Turtle Boat to ruin your day. JUST KIDDIN, it’s rants and raves time and we’re so happy!!!



We’re making up for lost time, Turtle Boaters, so this is gonna be long… but we know you’re clearly all as excited as we are in that picture.

SICK LIST
1. Slumdog Mill-un-aire
Even though this post should have been created during the prime time of Slumdog obsession when it won like 17 Oscars, this movie and everything about it is still the definition of sick. Amazing soundtrack? Check. Creative storyline? Check. Action to keep you on the edge of your seat, love to make you want to melt, and gorgeous leading roles to top it all off? Check, check, and check. You’ll leave the theater with an addictive soundtrack and an uplifting story resonating with you, feeling like a million bucks… no pun intended. But the real reason Slumdog Millionaire has made it on this sick list is for other wonderful reasons!! After learning that two of the little kids who played Salim and Latika in the movie are still living in the slums of Mumbai, Danny Boyle is ensuring that they and their families live in apartments with electricity, running water, and good sanitation and is providing transportation to and from school every day to make sure they get an education. AND the guy who hosts the show in the movie wants to host a Slumdog-themed, real life episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire with either Dev Patel or Freida Pinto in the hot seat. My life may be complete if that happens.
Everyone from Slumdog is the best.

Just a final word for you all, I really can’t help myself:

WHO WANTS TO BE… A MILL-UN-AIRE?!?!?!



2. Hipster 5 Dollar Bills



One day, Courtney and I were counting money for some reason. We came across some 5 dollar bills, and then we realized that clearly the person who was in charge of making these new bills at the U.S. Mint was a complete and total hipster. Someone got bored of all the non-trendy 5s in all the corners and decided to stick a HUGE PURPLE 5 (likely in Helvetica font) on the bottom right for absolutely no apparent reason. But lol, props to you, mystery hipster mint man. Hipsters everywhere can now be assured that their currency will be just as fashionable as their American Apparel attire and grandpa glasses (you will be addressed on the bitch list, grandpa glasses, be patient).

3. Morrow, Georgia
Courtney and I went on a service trip over spring break. Yes, we were unintentionally placed on the same service trip from a pool of 600 people, and yes, we’ve come to terms with our predestined soul mate status. But we went to Morrow, Georgia, a little town of about 5,000 people right outside of Atlanta, and ended up encountering more southern hospitality, delicious food, and sweet tea than is probably necessary for an entire lifetime. And we watched a major motion picture being filmed across the street. And the town loved us being there so much that we now have a holiday named after us in Morrow. Let me repeat that for you… we now have a holiday named after us in Morrow. I’ve already planned out my future in Georgia… anyone coming with?

4. My Apple Store Experience



So my negligent self broke my lappy and I had to bring it to the Apple store last week, expecting to sacrifice my life savings. However, I got to the Genius Bar, started chatting with the Genius who was working, and he ended up telling me he’d fix my computer for free. It is now good as new. I am the least smooth person in the world, so if I flirted my way to a fixed computer, I assure you, it was not intentional. But even if you thought I wanted your shit, thanks, Apple store guy! You’re the best, and for that, you’re on the Sick List.


BITCH LIST
1. Octomom
STOP HAVING BABIES. STOP GETTING SURGERY TO LOOK LIKE ANGELINA JOLIE. STOP BEING OUT OF YOUR MIND.

Courtesy of Perez Hilton and his admirable art skills:


2. Grandpa Glasses
Unless you are in fact a grandpa, please stop wearing these. You look ridiculous. Stop trying so hard.



3. Ticketmaster Convenience Charges
Courtney and I bought tickets for Cut Copy (House of Blues, Sunday night, come dance) and tickets were $20. As I typed and confirmed my billing information, though, Ticketmaster, being its sneaky self, gradually added “convenience charges” to my final purchase. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!?! I’m sorry, am I causing you such inconvenience by buying this ticket that I must reimburse you for the convenience you could have possessed had my selfish purchase never occurred? I should have known, Ticketmaster, that convenience costs half the fucking price of my actual ticket. I hate you.

4. Horrendous Cover Attempt of Grizzly Bear's "Knife"


Take it easy, champ.


On an unrelated note, I have this song in my head and I want everyone to listen to it so I’ll have someone to sing it with and also because everyone should like Vetiver.
Vetiver - Roll On Babe

LOVE YA BYE
krrrrrristen!